How to Say No to a Bad Opportunity and Let it Go!

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People don’t just come up to you and say, “Hey I have a horrible opportunity that will make you miserable. Are you interested?”

 If they did, life would be a little simpler. Alas,  we do not live in such a simple world, do we? People who want you to get involved with their opportunities and projects typically present them as wonderful.  It is up to you to determine whether or not it is actually so.

And this is where it gets very interesting. human nature suggests that when we make a decision we tend to seek evidence that it was the right decision. A course of action, once determined, has a strong tendency to remain constant. Most of us don’t like to change course once we’ve committed to a direction.  We like to finish what we started!

So,  What if the opportunity truly sucks?  and what if we don’t learn this until after we’ve committed to it?  moreover, what if we deny that it sucks in order to protect the righteousness of our decision? Do you see how precarious the situation is?  We systematically blind ourselves to the truth in order to maintain internal consistency in our decision-making. At least, this is one possibility.

 Anyone heard of the Vietnam War?

We want to avoid these kinds of situations in our personal lives don’t we? But how do we do it,  play tricks on ourselves?

It takes courage. More than that, it takes a keen dedication to remain aware of the results that you’re getting.  You might benefit greatly from writing down your realistic expectations for any opportunity that you’re considering then keep your eyes open to whether or not your expectations are being met. If your expectations are reasonable this is a safe way to go.

 An example:

I want to work  with people who possess the following characteristics:

  •  Maturity
  •  Open-mindedness
  •  Humility
  •  Honesty

Oh, I could make a list forever. the bottom line is when I talk I want to feel that the other person is listening when the other person is talking I want to actually be interested in hearing what he or she has to say as opposed to feigning interest in order to get what I want. I want people to treat situations much in the same way that I treat them. and I’m not perfect.

When someone acts differently;  when they are rude self-absorbed unaware rough ignorant;  when they have a God complex, that doesn’t work for me.

I know you’re sitting there thinking, “Of course that doesn’t work for you!  it wouldn’t work for me either. Please tell me something I don’t know.”

And here it is:  It doesn’t matter what you want. It matters what you can back up. Do you have what it takes to fire someone;  to disassociate yourself from people who do not share your values or do not meet your expectations?  

This is business! The bottom line depends on solid decision-making. Give in to your emotional need to please people and you will soon be watching profits run down the drain.

And if that’s not enough for you, bear in mind that the private hell you live: 

  1.  was avoidable.
  2.  will repeat itself until the day you die unless you fix it.

Have you had enough self-inflicted pain and suffering? Are you ready to give people the truth and let the chips fall where they may?  This is the only way to find good opportunities.